Oh Hell No!DVD - 2015
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Charles Shepard? I read somewhere that 25% of all serial killers are named Charles.
-You did not read that. You just don't like the name.
I don't blame the sharks on this destruction. I blame one Fin Shepard. It seems like everywhere he goes, destruction follows.
-Do not think it's a weather anomaly.
I think he has a plan, and wherever he goes, he destroys. Nobody else survives, yet Fin Shepard
and his family seem to always survive just fine.
Oh, be good to him. You know, he's the only dad you have.
D.C. isn't safe.
I know how this is gonna sound, but I can sense these storms now, the drop in temperature, the
humidity, these crazy cloud formations. These sharks, they have a scent, and it's not a pretty one.
Apparently, the storms are getting dangerously close together. NOAA's monitoring them every
second. One of my computer-modeled scenarios was a large low-pressure cell with multiple sharknadoes. If enough of them merge, the whole storm will start to rotate.
Sergeant, my name's Fin Shepard. Is General Gottlieb still the commanding officer here?
-Fin Shepard? The Fin Shepard? The Medal of Freedom, kills sharks with a chainsaw, saved L.A., New York, and the President of the United States Fin Shepard?
Yeah, that Fin Shepard.
-And I'm the Easter Bunny.
You know, you can find some pretty amazing things in a shark's gut, license plates, sneakers, mini trampolines, anything they swallow in the ocean. But you know what the most common thing regular sharks eat is?
Yes, fish. But sharknado sharks, they eat something that regular sharks don't, birds.
The world is ending, Fin. You need to be prepared.
-You don't believe that. It's not ending.
Uh, yeah, I do. The signs are all around us. Just because it's raining sharks and not frogs doesn't mean it's not coming to an end.
My mom was right.
That you don't know how to stop being a hero.
-This isn't about being a hero. This is about us. This is about our family. Have you seen what's going on outside? These storms, they just keep getting bigger! Every shark in the world must be flying around out there. If I can do this, maybe we get some peace. I'm coming back, and when I do, I'm never gonna leave you again.
You're all set, astronaut Shepard.
-I'm not an astronaut. That's my dad's gig.
Heh. You're going out in space, aren't you?
Last I checked, those were the only requirements. And don't worry about all that Buck Rogers stuff they talk about. Not as hard as they make it seem. Computers do most of the work.
It's okay, pal. I'm living my dream.
-Flying in space?
No. Being your hero. Give these wings to the baby... so the little one will always fly.
Have you seen my daughter? She's She's about this high. She has long brown hair.
-That describes half the girls in the park.
-What the hell's that?
Strategic Defense Initiative.
-Star Wars? I thought that didn't work.
That's what you're supposed to think, but I've been working on it almost my entire career. It's probably why I didn't get into space until now. We've been redefining the technology for years. So much power now. If we fire that thing directly into the storm, it should ionize the water vapor, give us enough room to collapse it.
How are you so good at that?
-I'm a Shepard!
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