Seriously-- I'm KiddingBook - 2011
"I've experienced a whole lot the last few years and I have a lot to share. So I hope that you'll take a moment to sit back, relax and enjoy the words I've put together for you in this book. I think you'll find I've left no stone unturned, no door unopened, no window unbroken, no rug unvacuumed, no ivories untickled. What I'm saying is, let us begin, shall we?"
Seriously... I'm Kidding is a lively, hilarious, and often sweetly poignant look at the life of the much-loved entertainer as she opens up about her personal life, her talk show, and joining the judges table of American Idol.
From the critics
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I don’t know why we ever need to look into those (magnifying mirrors). They’re not accurate. They point out every single one of our flaws. We don’t need that. That’s why we have mothers.
(On mammograms) If a man had to put his special parts inside a clamp to test him for anything, I think they would come up with a new plan before the doctor finished saying, "Put that thing there so I can crush it.
Do you live each day as if it's your first or your last? Either way you should probably have a diaper on.
...around forty, when you’re “over the hill. I don’t even know what that means and why it’s a bad thing. When I go hiking and I get over the hill, that means I’m past the hard part and there’s a snack in my future.
Answers to Frequently Asked Questions:
...One time in high school.
Three times in my twenties.
Rocks no salt.
Never. And how dare you!
I will take no further questions.
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